First Time

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I’m feeling a little nervous today, but I’m also excited. I’m going to a party tonight, and I’ve been told I can cross off some of my bucket list items, lol. I really enjoy spending time with the couple that I’ll be staying with for the next few days.
I brought my walker with me this time; even though I know they couldn’t care less whether I am using it or not, I am still really self-conscious about it. I’d love to be able to say that I’ve gotten past the negative comments my ex made about my having Multiple Sclerosis, or basically isolating me in the house over the last few years. Unfortunately, I haven’t…I feel a little sting when someone stares at me while I’m using my walker.
I just realized that I won’t be able to take it, since another couple will be riding with us to the party. Honestly, I don’t use it if I’m just walking around my house. Plus, I’m sure that J. will help me get around if I need it.
J & K, are always very caring & will help with different positions to make sure I’m comfortable. One thing about having balance issues, is that it can be somewhat limiting when it comes to positions that I feel comfortable trying. For example, I don’t really like to be on top because it makes me nervous I might fall somehow, or even worse get a muscle spasm in my legs. Aside from being painful, it would be somewhat embarrassing to have an orgasm & then end up curled into a ball. The weather has been changing the last few days, it’s unseasonably cold. As a result my legs feel like they’re on fire (well at least the portion by my ass, anyway). If they continue to burn, that means I will most likely need to apply some Real Time Pain cream.
I don’t usually use topical meds, but ever since my friend sent me a sample packet, I’ve been using it when the pain becomes unbearable. Thankfully, it smells good. Can you imagine how akward it would be to go to a party smelling like Bengay? I’m pretty sure that would decrease my chances of having fun, and who goes to a party if they can’t have any fun?

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